Learn Spoken English
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| Learn Spoken English 2021 |
I am afraid to speak English. People will laugh at me. What if I start a conversation with a native speaker and I suddenly forget words? What if I just can't support a conversation? Like I won't be able to use my English I have so many fears. What should I do? Hey guys, welcome to this blog. Today we're gonna talk about those questions that arise in your head. Whenever you are confronted with a situation to speak to a native speaker in English, I just want to say like, first of all, I am pretty sure you've heard that many times that it's just all in your head. But I know we need to kind of dig deeper and talk about your fears.
Because I had those fears. Like, even now when I speak German because I'm a perfectionist, I get very nervous, because I know I make mistakes. And I know I forget words, and I know everything like this happens. And my face turns red, and I just you know, and, and it actually starts happening, like when I'm relaxed, my German is a lot better. Like if I'm in an environment, just talking to friends, or just talking to someone at a store. It will be like a really smooth language.
When I started thinking, like, Oh, my God, like, this is one of the reasons I stopped recording videos about German, just because it's, it's been declining. And I have those fears. But I also had them in English. But with English, I understood that English is a tool, it's an instrument that I use to improve my life. And without it, you know, I won't be able to achieve my new goals, I won't be able to get to new levels of whatever YouTube of my company's development. So today, we're going to start with fear. Number one, people are gonna laugh at me that the only time I've been laughed at in terms of my English is when, like a laugh in real life, like I get mocked about my accent a lot on social media. But it happens because I get hundreds of 1000s of views. And I understand that even Karen's get dislikes on YouTube.
And there will be people who are unhappy with whatever I'm doing. And just because I'm doing it, they will be posting bad comments and hating me for whatever I do. But I also understand sometimes it's actually good to have that feedback because people tell me Oh, Marina, that was wrong. That phrase was incorrect, but they're not laughing at me. They're telling me how to improve. And I accept that with gratitude. So the only time I've been laughed I had actually happened when I was talking to my friend. And I told him, I was so hooked up with this person. Like I wanted to say that we're really connected with a person. But I used a phrasal verb to hook up with someone, and it actually means have a sexual relationship. And this not what it's was not what I meant. And another time it happened recently on Instagram, I came to a butcher store and I posted a story that I missed his meat and meat in American conversational English when you say I missed his meat means I missed his penis. And, again, people laughed at me. But I thought it was funny. Like it's not like and it was like DMS people oh my god, am I good?
Marina Do you know it has a second meaning it and it's not like they are angry at me for making that mistake. It was like, you know, friendly advice. So I've never ever had people in real life laugh at me like say, oh my god, your English is so bad. What are you doing here, never ever happened in my life?
And I started practicing English at age of 14. And I was hanging out with really mean teenagers who can be really mean. And they can tell really bad things in your face. But never has that ever happened to me because people understand that I'm making an effort to be understood. They understand that I come from a completely different culture and that I've never spoken English to my parents or to my grandparents. So the only exception here is social media. Like if you're speaking English and social media, just be ready to get those hate comments. And even if you're perfect in English, even if you're 120 out of 120 on TOEFL, and you post a video of how you got that score, you would still like if it goes viral, you would still get comments from people. It's impossible Your English is not good enough, etc. Like there would always be people on social media hating you. But in real life, there's like this tiny chance it's gonna happen, but it's not gonna happen, guys, native speakers, especially Americans, especially British people are very friendly in real life. People who I met people who I talked to in English, even when I was intermediate, they were really friendly and really supportive. So it's all in our heads. And I think if you have this fear in English like people would laugh at you, you probably have in other aspects of your life.
So it's just another reason for you to sit down with yourself and think about like, I don't have to be liked by everyone. And again, I am a person who has this feeling all the time. I want to be liked by everyone.
I want it I'm fighting this Like, once I started my channels, I realized I can't be liked by everyone. But it was really hurting me every time I read something negative about myself. And it took me a while to understand and to realize that my goal is to use my talents is to grow as an entrepreneur, YouTuber, whatever is a mum, and do the best that I can. What other people think about me, it's other people's business, they have their own understanding of reality, they have their own experience, maybe they just have a bad day. But it doesn't have anything to do with me. And if you want to dig deeper into this problem, I really advise you to read a book, the courage to be disliked. It's like one of those books that I started reading last year, I think last year, I had this, I don't know, personality crisis, but I was like, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do that. I'm afraid to do this because people would comment, and they will be unhappy with what I do.
And I started just doing a lot of psychological research. And I started doing reading a lot of books. And that was one of the books that really, really helped me. Like, it just talks about how you can't control other people's emotions, you can't control what they think of you, what you have to do is focus on what you can do the best just focus on your goals. And to start achieving them. Another thing I could recommend watch the one on Netflix, it talks just about this woman entrepreneur, who's a little ruthless. And she's not like a role model that I want you to follow. But it just talks about, like how she deals with all the problems that arise when I was thinking like, if I were at her place, I would have definitely given up. But she continued going, I really encourage you to read those books to watch the one on Netflix and to just read interviews related to this topic.
Because this would help you in your life in general, not just within the sense, of course, you will realize that you know, the majority of people will laugh at you. And if they will, it is their problem. It's not your problem, you're doing your best you're practicing your English, you are putting effort into being understood by people who don't even speak your language and don't even make an effort to learn your language. Okay, psychology classes over let's move up to some practical advice regarding other things that you can do. So there is another fear, what if the conversation gets too complicated, and I won't be able to support it, I also get this fear. Like for example, again, I can't really relate to this in English right now, because my language is pretty, I would say pretty advanced to talk about all kinds of topics. But with German, I can totally relate. And when people start asking me about business, I understand that I will start a conversation.
I will talk about my company. But if they start digging deeper, I will be like, Oh my god, this is too complicated. And in 2018, I had to have surgery in Germany. And I was surprised I was actually able to communicate with doctors and nurses about medical stuff. Because basically, when we're talking about English, we have 1000 words that makeup 86% of the conversation. And what you really need to know is if you know those 1000 words, if you go into a specific conversation, you can always ask for definitions of specific words.
So it was in Germany during that surgery, I was like, Oh, um, what is this in German, I can say that in English, or I could show you on Google. And once I learned like five or seven words that I needed, that was related to that surgery, the conversation became really easy. Because you don't need to know like the whole I don't know, surgery, medical business vocabulary to support an advanced conversation, all you need is those 1000 words. And also, if you're like, oh, I don't know how many words I know right now, this doesn't actually matter. If you understand this video, that means you know enough words to support a conversation. So start practicing. And if you forget a word, if you don't know the term, if you forget a word, you can just Google it on your phone with Google Translate and show your party this word and you will be totally fine. And this is, by the way, the way you learn this word really fast.
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Again, this can happen as well, if you are too nervous about the conversation, the trick that helps me a lot is to pretend that you're someone else. Because again, stopping and freezing has to do something with what's going on with you internally like maybe you're again thinking that people are gonna laugh at you. And just there are so many thoughts in your head that you can just process them. So imagine that you're a different person, you probably if you're speaking to a native speaker, you're probably in a new country, nobody knows you. And once this conversation is over, you will part ways with this person.
So try to pretend you are your favorite movie character, try to pretend you're an American, if you're in America, try to pretend that you are this famous blogger that you really, really like, I don't know, try to pretend to be someone else, just for this conversation. It just lets your fears go. And it helps you become more confident when you speak. What if I offend someone? That's another fear. And one thing I want you to remember here is that when we talk to a person, people pay attention to body language, to our facial expressions to our emotions. And even if you say something incorrectly in English, they would understand you didn't really mean it. And also they would understand like if they tell you about something, and you're like, you don't understand me, you just say yes. And a lot of times people will tell you, but you didn't understand, right? And they would explain in another way.
It's okay to say Oh, I didn't mean that. Sorry, was that offensive, because my English is not good enough. It's okay. But if you're smiling, if you're open, then people will understand 100% That you didn't mean to offend them that it was like, oh my god, I'm sorry. That is something that we're used to in our culture or mixed up the word people would understand. Now let's wrap up this video with a couple of tips. If you have an important conversation in English coming up, maybe you have an interview with a university, or I remember when we were preparing for the Y Combinator interview. It's an accelerator here in Silicon Valley.
The worst mistake that you can do is actually overthinking it makes sense to prepare, it makes sense to go through questions that were asked before in this kind of environment, like go through questions that universities ask during the interview, go through questions that people are normally asked, etc. But I would say, take your time to prepare for two hours. But don't take too long.
\Because when it takes too long when it takes days, we are over-prepared for a Y Combinator interview. And instead of relaxing before it, instead of just catching the vibe of Silicon Valley, we were just brainstorming how we're going to find that small company that is trying to do the same thing. And people there didn't even know about it. And like now when I look back at it, it's important to know what you're talking about like to tell your story to tell. I don't know why you're interested in this or that university this or that subject. But don't overthink? Like they would probably ask basic questions. Or if they ask some complicated questions, it is almost impossible to predict what they're going to ask. So learn some basic things. But then let yourself relax, watch something in English. Just put yourself into that environment before the conversation or before the test so that your brain switches from your language into English,
it will be a lot easier. The next step, be nervous and do it anyways, Michael Jordan once said, being nervous isn't bad. It just means something important is happening. So my tip here and I did an interview with Justin Kahn in Silicon Valley Girl. And he said, Don't be afraid of your emotions. Don't suppress them. Tell yourself, okay, I am nervous about this conversation. I'm going to have an English it is fine. I understand that I'm nervous because it is an important conversation. I understand that my English is maybe not good enough. And I haven't practiced a lot. But I'm going to do it anyway. And I'm going to use this conversation as practice. And after the conversation, I'm going to sit down and think about what was good and what was bad.
I was really bad at analyzing things afterward because I'm this perfectionist and when I shoot a video I don't want to see it just because I understand I could have done better. And this is an endless process. But I actually taught myself to look at numbers. I taught myself to actually sit down and think about what I did wrong and what could be done better and it helps a lot with your progression. So, after the conversation, sit down with yourself and think, did I do everything I could do. And if not, you know, just have some tips for yourself for the next conversation. And I have this note in my iPhone where it just put in things that I can do better in my videos. And I have those tips that I always look at before an important video, and just remind myself that I make those mistakes. It is okay, it's good that I know about them, and I'm going to be better in the next video. The next step, do it until it feels normal. Just keep having those conversations in English.
Keep being shy, keep being nervous, at some stage, you're going to be tired of it, especially if you're in an English-speaking country. Or if you're applying to universities, like I have a lot of people here in the US we're applying in the universities, mostly children are my friends, oh my god, I'm sold. But they're applying to like 24 colleges at once. And you know, interview number 10 You just get tired of it and you just get used to it and you don't feel nervous anymore. So keep doing also adopt the growth mindset, something we've already talked about like I am bad at speaking English. My accent isn't good enough yet. But I'm using this as a way to practice and I'm using this exact conversation as my way to improve.
Learn to laugh for yourself. You know life is simple. We overcomplicate so many things, we tend to think that this meeting is a game-changer. It is not, you can always do another meeting. There are so many people in the world, there are so many opportunities. And if you don't get any results from the upcoming conversation doesn't matter. You can do a lot more conversations. The most important thing is that you have yourself, you have your time you have your brain that helps you speak English, like don't create problems for yourself. Enjoy life will only have one life. And I want you to go ahead and enjoy it and look at everything from a positive perspective. Especially if it's something smaller, like a conversation with a native speaker. Come on. It's going to be fine. Life is easy smile, tell yourself that. If not today, you're gonna make it tomorrow. If not tomorrow, you're gonna make it in a week. It is fine. You'll get there. Thank you guys so much for watching this video up to the very end please subscribe to this channel and if you have friends who are struggling to speak English or any other language, please share this video with them and I'll see you very soon in my next article. Bye-bye